Depending on the level of heat that I'm writing in one of my stories, sooner or later I have to pen an orgasmic scene and for today's alphabet blog, I decided to write about orgasms. It's an odd thing to blog about, no doubt but I'll give it a shot. I'm no expert on this topic so I'll check what the interwebs says.For the fastest information about orgasms, I start with Wikipedia, fully aware that Wiki isn't always 100% accurate but for what I need it for today, it's close enough.
Wiki says this about orgasms... Orgasm (from Greek οργασμός orgasmos, from organ to mature, swell, also sexual climax) is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure. Experienced by males and females, orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system. They are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. The period after orgasm (known as a refractory period) is often a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of the neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin, as well as endorphins (or "endogenous morphine").
Wiki says this about orgasms... Orgasm (from Greek οργασμός orgasmos, from organ to mature, swell, also sexual climax) is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure. Experienced by males and females, orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system. They are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. The period after orgasm (known as a refractory period) is often a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of the neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin, as well as endorphins (or "endogenous morphine").
Oh really? So I did a little research on what are the myths from a woman's point of view and found that Gabrielle Moore says this on her website “the Female Orgasm revealed. Myth 1: Some women just can't have orgasms.
While there are women who have never had an orgasm, there is no evidence to suggest some women are incapable of having orgasms. There are two reasons why some women have not had orgasms in their lives.
The first is that for whatever reason they have never masturbated. Masturbation is often a woman's first orgasm experience.
The second is that they simply are not receiving the proper type of genital stimulation. Clitoral stimulation is needed by most women to have an orgasm. Without that stimulation, it most likely isn't going to happen.
There are some women who have psychological blocks when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. This may be the result of any number of past events in their lives, but even that does not mean they are physically incapable of having an orgasm. If they worked through those problems, they would be able to engage in orgasm-producing intercourse just like any other woman.
Myth 2: Women take longer to reach orgasm than men.
This is another common myth which has not been supported by research. The reason people believe this is that they don't understand the female arousal pattern.
Women's arousal patterns are much different than men's and, as a result, they are physically prepared for intercourse later than men are.
The time from optimal arousal to orgasm is pretty much identical for both men and women. The difference is in how long it takes to reach that level of arousal. Because men often don't know how to help their partners get to that point, it does seem to take longer.
Once that's changed, however, men find their partners reach orgasm more quickly and even have multiple orgasms in quick succession.
Myth 3: A Woman can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis.
Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax.
The truth is that size really doesn't matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman's vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is useless during intercourse, at least from the woman's physical perspective.
In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it's sufficient, their minds aren't focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm.
A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches on average.
Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement.
Remember whether a man's penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis.
Myth 4: There's nothing wrong with faking orgasms.
The majority of women sincerely believe this myth, but the truth is there is something very wrong with faking orgasms.
First, faking an orgasm is a form of lying to your partner. The woman is telling him that he has achieved something which she knows he has not.
While that may make him happy or may make him feel good about himself temporarily, in the long run any lie will hurt the relationship because it will eventually be discovered. No matter how good our intentions lying during a relationship is never going to make it stronger.
Second, women who fake orgasms because their partners are not helping them reach climax are denying themselves pleasure wrongly. Faking orgasms not only interrupts a woman's enjoyment of the actual intercourse, it also prevents the man from trying other ways to please her. From his perspective, the sex is great.
The only way to have a mutually satisfying sexual and non-sexual relationship is through honesty.
Although problems in the bedroom can be hard to discuss, bringing them up and working through them will strengthen the relationship and will make the sex better for both partners.
Myth 5: Women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.
This is definitely not true but it's a myth that has caused us to take women's sexual needs for granted for a long time.
This myth actually started with Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis, who had recognized that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile and believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms.
The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis, for example.
As a result of Freud's determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure.
Only in recent decades has society begun talking openly about the women's right to enjoy sex and to reach orgasm in whatever manner worked for her.
While there are women who have never had an orgasm, there is no evidence to suggest some women are incapable of having orgasms. There are two reasons why some women have not had orgasms in their lives.
The first is that for whatever reason they have never masturbated. Masturbation is often a woman's first orgasm experience.
The second is that they simply are not receiving the proper type of genital stimulation. Clitoral stimulation is needed by most women to have an orgasm. Without that stimulation, it most likely isn't going to happen.
There are some women who have psychological blocks when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. This may be the result of any number of past events in their lives, but even that does not mean they are physically incapable of having an orgasm. If they worked through those problems, they would be able to engage in orgasm-producing intercourse just like any other woman.
Myth 2: Women take longer to reach orgasm than men.
This is another common myth which has not been supported by research. The reason people believe this is that they don't understand the female arousal pattern.
Women's arousal patterns are much different than men's and, as a result, they are physically prepared for intercourse later than men are.
The time from optimal arousal to orgasm is pretty much identical for both men and women. The difference is in how long it takes to reach that level of arousal. Because men often don't know how to help their partners get to that point, it does seem to take longer.
Once that's changed, however, men find their partners reach orgasm more quickly and even have multiple orgasms in quick succession.
Myth 3: A Woman can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis.
Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax.
The truth is that size really doesn't matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman's vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is useless during intercourse, at least from the woman's physical perspective.
In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it's sufficient, their minds aren't focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm.
A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches on average.
Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement.
Remember whether a man's penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis.
Myth 4: There's nothing wrong with faking orgasms.
The majority of women sincerely believe this myth, but the truth is there is something very wrong with faking orgasms.
First, faking an orgasm is a form of lying to your partner. The woman is telling him that he has achieved something which she knows he has not.
While that may make him happy or may make him feel good about himself temporarily, in the long run any lie will hurt the relationship because it will eventually be discovered. No matter how good our intentions lying during a relationship is never going to make it stronger.
Second, women who fake orgasms because their partners are not helping them reach climax are denying themselves pleasure wrongly. Faking orgasms not only interrupts a woman's enjoyment of the actual intercourse, it also prevents the man from trying other ways to please her. From his perspective, the sex is great.
The only way to have a mutually satisfying sexual and non-sexual relationship is through honesty.
Although problems in the bedroom can be hard to discuss, bringing them up and working through them will strengthen the relationship and will make the sex better for both partners.
Myth 5: Women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.
This is definitely not true but it's a myth that has caused us to take women's sexual needs for granted for a long time.
This myth actually started with Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis, who had recognized that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile and believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms.
The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis, for example.
As a result of Freud's determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure.
Only in recent decades has society begun talking openly about the women's right to enjoy sex and to reach orgasm in whatever manner worked for her.
Trying to be fair, I then found this on Askmen.com and this is what they are saying about myths.
All women want a G-spot orgasm
Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.
Women need a skilled partner to orgasm
Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.
Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves
This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.
Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms This orgasm myth is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. OK, not exactly, but you get the idea. The basic point is this: Both are perfectly lovely and they can be equally satisfying. The only reason vaginal orgasms are regarded as the Holy Grail of ecstasy is how infrequently they occur. Statistically speaking, it’s estimated that 30% of women will never even experience one and only 30% do so with regularity. That means you have a very good chance of dating or marrying a woman who will never achieve a vaginal orgasm. Unfair as that may sound, clitoral orgasms are not to be taken lightly; they can be absolutely earth-shattering under the right circumstances, and some women prefer them. Clitoral orgasms are wonderful and there is no reason to pity a woman who hasn’t experienced an orgasm through vaginal stimulation.
Women can’t ejaculate Anyone who still believes this orgasm myth has clearly never seen a good porn film. Women can definitely ejaculate, and some can do so more forcefully (and with more volume) than men. It’s a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community, so the research still leaves something to be desired, but there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim. We know that women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substances male ejaculate contains, and it’s produced in the "female prostate" -- an organ which is extremely similar to the male prostate, albeit smaller. Women seem to ejaculate primarily through direct stimulation of the G-spot (some scientists believe this is actually the urethral sponge), but not all women can or will experience ejaculation. So, if she doesn't have a gushing end, don't think she didn't enjoy herself, just try again another time.
orgasmic mythology So there you have it: Five female orgasm myths totally debunked. While it’s admirable to concern yourself with your woman’s pleasure and level of satisfaction, you’re not solely responsible for her orgasm. If she doesn’t have one, she could still be having the time of her life. If, however, you really have your heart set on making her holler, we recommend asking her to masturbate for you, which will provide plenty of insight (and quite a show) into how she prefers to reach orgasm.
All women want a G-spot orgasm
Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.
Women need a skilled partner to orgasm
Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.
Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves
This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.
Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms This orgasm myth is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. OK, not exactly, but you get the idea. The basic point is this: Both are perfectly lovely and they can be equally satisfying. The only reason vaginal orgasms are regarded as the Holy Grail of ecstasy is how infrequently they occur. Statistically speaking, it’s estimated that 30% of women will never even experience one and only 30% do so with regularity. That means you have a very good chance of dating or marrying a woman who will never achieve a vaginal orgasm. Unfair as that may sound, clitoral orgasms are not to be taken lightly; they can be absolutely earth-shattering under the right circumstances, and some women prefer them. Clitoral orgasms are wonderful and there is no reason to pity a woman who hasn’t experienced an orgasm through vaginal stimulation.
Women can’t ejaculate Anyone who still believes this orgasm myth has clearly never seen a good porn film. Women can definitely ejaculate, and some can do so more forcefully (and with more volume) than men. It’s a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community, so the research still leaves something to be desired, but there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim. We know that women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substances male ejaculate contains, and it’s produced in the "female prostate" -- an organ which is extremely similar to the male prostate, albeit smaller. Women seem to ejaculate primarily through direct stimulation of the G-spot (some scientists believe this is actually the urethral sponge), but not all women can or will experience ejaculation. So, if she doesn't have a gushing end, don't think she didn't enjoy herself, just try again another time.
orgasmic mythology So there you have it: Five female orgasm myths totally debunked. While it’s admirable to concern yourself with your woman’s pleasure and level of satisfaction, you’re not solely responsible for her orgasm. If she doesn’t have one, she could still be having the time of her life. If, however, you really have your heart set on making her holler, we recommend asking her to masturbate for you, which will provide plenty of insight (and quite a show) into how she prefers to reach orgasm.
So let's cut to the chase and see what someone says that incorporate a bit of knowledge for both from Orgasmmyths.com Orgasms Myths Explained in Detail Even though much more is understood about sexuality now than in previous times, there are still a number of orgasms myths that abound. While the majority of these surround a woman’s orgasm, there are also some that deal with the myth of the male orgasm. In short, an orgasm is the climax of the human sexual response cycle. At the point of orgasm, a person will have pronounced feelings of pleasure. However, there are many differences between how men and women experience an orgasm. There are also quite a few differences in how these orgasms are reached.
One female orgasm myth that is still prevalent is that women must have an orgasm to be satisfied with the sexual activity. This myth is perpetuated because of the perception of an orgasm from a male point of view and also relates to how men and women view sex. While a man may see an orgasm as the end result of the sexual activity, women generally see it as only part of the process. For this reason, a woman may enjoy the intimacy of the act more than the actual result of an orgasm.
Another common female orgasm myth is that women are not able to ejaculate. While most of the sexual intercourse is focused on the male ejaculation, women do indeed have this reaction. Similar to men, women release fluid through the urethra and the liquid that is released is comprised of the same substances as male ejaculate, albeit without the presence of sperm. Scientific study has proven that this substance is produced in an organ that is similar in shape and location as the male prostate. Dubbed the female prostate, the version found on a woman is smaller than the one in men. The ejaculation of a woman typically comes from stimulation of the G spot, but other women have also reported having an ejaculation from vaginal intercourse.
Perhaps the most common orgasm myth that involves men is their ability to have multiple orgasms. While the nature of a male orgasm would lead a person to think that multiple orgasms are an impossibility, they are, in fact, quite possible. When a man has an orgasm with an ejaculation, hormones are released that produce a refractory effect. This refractory effect makes the man feel calm and sedate and the erection is lost. However, a man can train himself to learn how to have an orgasm without the release of an ejaculation. In these cases, the man can have multiple orgasms, most commonly in the form of tantric sex.
Knowing the differences between myths and fact is essential to correctly understanding the sexuality of a person. A person interested in the deeper meaning of sex and sexuality should take the time to research the true answers to all of their questions. The continued perpetuation of orgasms myths is one of the reasons that many people remain uneducated about basic elements of both male and female sexuality.
Alternative sex options: Threesome Rules
One female orgasm myth that is still prevalent is that women must have an orgasm to be satisfied with the sexual activity. This myth is perpetuated because of the perception of an orgasm from a male point of view and also relates to how men and women view sex. While a man may see an orgasm as the end result of the sexual activity, women generally see it as only part of the process. For this reason, a woman may enjoy the intimacy of the act more than the actual result of an orgasm.
Another common female orgasm myth is that women are not able to ejaculate. While most of the sexual intercourse is focused on the male ejaculation, women do indeed have this reaction. Similar to men, women release fluid through the urethra and the liquid that is released is comprised of the same substances as male ejaculate, albeit without the presence of sperm. Scientific study has proven that this substance is produced in an organ that is similar in shape and location as the male prostate. Dubbed the female prostate, the version found on a woman is smaller than the one in men. The ejaculation of a woman typically comes from stimulation of the G spot, but other women have also reported having an ejaculation from vaginal intercourse.
Perhaps the most common orgasm myth that involves men is their ability to have multiple orgasms. While the nature of a male orgasm would lead a person to think that multiple orgasms are an impossibility, they are, in fact, quite possible. When a man has an orgasm with an ejaculation, hormones are released that produce a refractory effect. This refractory effect makes the man feel calm and sedate and the erection is lost. However, a man can train himself to learn how to have an orgasm without the release of an ejaculation. In these cases, the man can have multiple orgasms, most commonly in the form of tantric sex.
Knowing the differences between myths and fact is essential to correctly understanding the sexuality of a person. A person interested in the deeper meaning of sex and sexuality should take the time to research the true answers to all of their questions. The continued perpetuation of orgasms myths is one of the reasons that many people remain uneducated about basic elements of both male and female sexuality.
Alternative sex options: Threesome Rules